steve's message this morning was one those messages that has stuck with me all day. and it's been pretty much all i can think about.
i realized today that my "nathan-bag" has become huge...especially over the past few years.(for those of you who have no idea what i am talking about, steve refered to the grudges that we carry around as "nathan-bags"...if that helps any) But my bag hasn't just grown into something that is bulky and heavy...it has become , me.
or i have become it. i suppose.
these things, these wounds, that have been given to me by old friends, family members, relationships...they define who i am. and it's in no way,shape , or form a good way.
i've talked before about how i am an avoider.when things happen. when i get hurt. i never try to fix it.fixing it just seems too hard...like way too much work. so i avoid it, and i hold on to that grudge for dear life.
and i'm learning that living like that is getting me nowhere.but after being defined by these things for so long...how do you change?
just completely change.
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7 comments:
How do you change?
You go right through the middle of it not around it. And, that is the hardest thing to do. You have to talk it out, work it out, pray it out, remember it, forget it, and then remember it again only to forgive it.
I'm not sure that anyone has it mastered.
I missed Steve's message, so I am not sure what it was about and don't understand the Nathan reference.
But, I do know that I found myself in a a similar situation not too long ago. I found that the basis of my grudge was envy. I denied it for so long, but once i accepted it, it was freeing. For what my 2 cents is worth...
i appreciate you and your honesty.....
i have some pretty hefty "nathan bags" as well.
"But my bag hasn't just grown into something that is bulky and heavy...it has become , me.
or i have become it. i suppose."
Gosh Lauren. I love this. I do this WAY too often too.
I love you alot.
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Hello. This post is likeable, and your blog is very interesting, congratulations :-). I will add in my blogroll =). If possible gives a last there on my blog, it is about the Home Theater, I hope you enjoy. The address is http://home-theater-brasil.blogspot.com. A hug.
Come back to blog spot@!
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