to me slowing down is the worst thing.
when i slow down, all the things i've been avoiding come crashing into my lap. and they are just there. and i have to deal with them.
i avoid.
and i am good at.
i avoid my dad so i don't have to talk to him.
i avoid working things out with friends that i have wronged.
i avoid being in the room with my mom so we won't fight.
i avoid the things i know i will fail at.
i avoid looking in the mirror because i don't like what i see ( which by the way my hair looks sometimes, its pretty obvious.)
but mostly i avoid thinking about the important things. when i start ... i get so deep into my thoughts...i can't get out. maybe it's because i have a huge imagination, or that i'm obsessive about whats going to happen,or maybe i just really have issues. i hate thinking. i really do.
but i'm realizing that sometimes there are things i can't avoid. i can't hide under the blankets forever. i have to get over my fears...and face reality.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I'm glad you didn't avoid me on Sunday morning.
I meant what I said, too.
:)
-Roogles
avoiding confrontation and other ugly things is very normal. i think that's because we all view them as negative experiences. i am trying to learn (but it's sooo hard) that confrontation can be an extremely good thing ~ rational and logical ~ and can produce some amazing "fruit".
Post a Comment